Jesus the Gypsy

I like video games. But here's the caviat: it's gotta tell a good story. Those are just like reading a good book. I have one game where you have the option of entering a desert. I've stumbled into this dessert more than once while playing. When you pass through one screen, hoping the next will be different, it looks exactly the same as the last. I've done this for hours, trying all directions, hoping there will be a breakthrough - but it can seem there never will be. It's just endless dessert as far as I can see. Sometimes I wish there were buttons to push on my handheld controller to make my character just sit down and cry.

Well, I wandered into the dessert last night. I fell into an old sin, one I thought I was making progress on. It seemed I looked up and there was just endless desert all around me - desert that I'd already walked through. I thought I'd already fought my way through this desert and come out on the other side, putting the strenuous journey behind me...but here I was, back at the starting point again. I'd backslid.

I've mentioned the Valley of Vision book I use during my prayer time before. Here is a prayer I find especially helpful when I've stumbled into sin, when I look back from other side of the encounter, back over all the ground I feel I've lost, when I'm convinced I will never change...

The prayer is titled Backsliding, and I feel I do this so often...so often that I never make any headway.

Backsliding

O Lord,
When the world's unbelievers reject thee,
and are so forsaken by thee
that thou callest them no more,
it is to thine own thou dost turn,
for in such seasons of general apostasy
they in some measure backslide with the world.
O how free is thy grace
that reminds them of the danger that
confronts them
and urges them to persevere in adherence
to thyself!
I bless thee that those who turn aside
may return to thee immediately,
and be welcomed without anything
to commend them,
notwithstanding all their former backslidings.
I confess that this is suited to my case, for of late
I have found great want,
and lack of apprehension of divine grace;
I have been greatly distressed of soul
because I did not suitably come to the fountain
that purges away all sin;
I have laboured too much for spiritual life,
peace of conscience, progressive holiness,
in my own strength.
I beg thee, show me the arm of all might;
Give me to believe
that thou canst do for me more than
I ask or think,
and that, though I backslide, thy love will never
let me go,
but will draw me back to thee with everlasting
cords;
that thou dost provide grace in the wilderness,
and canst bring me out, leaning on the arm
of my Beloved;
that thou canst cause me to walk with him
by the rivers of waters in a straight way,
wherein I shall not stumble.
Keep me solemn, devout, faithful, resting
on free grace for assistance, acceptance,
and peace of conscience.

So If I could make my video game character sit down and cry, would I ever get out of the desert? Nope. Would I ever finish the game? Nope. Philippianss 1:6 says "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." God isn't going to save me and begin the work of making me like his Son only to let that work drop into the sand. This is a promise. But I have to be careful not to throw this promise back in God's face (you know, sit down in the sand and cry) but believe that he will help me regain ground and move me on to His goal.

One day when I'd wandered into this desert I discovered the secret to getting out. A gypsy wagon came by and the driver said two words to my character: "Need help?" I then had the option to get on his wagon or keep trying of my own strength to escape the endless desert. I opted to get on, and the gypsy took me right out of the desert immediately.

My husband is God's grace in my life - He's such an example. He recounted a time when he was growing angrier and angrier, but he checked himself and prayed that God would help him change his attitude. He said that within a matter of moments God had given grace for a better attitude. He doesn't just keep running hoping to find the edge where the sand turns to grass. He stops and scans the horizon looking for that gypsy, and heads straight for it.

I often find that that is exactly what I don't do when I'm in the heat of my sin. I need to seek help from God immediately. I need to stop and pray. When I find myself sinning, I'll think things like "boy, this really isn't good..." "I should really stop doing this..." "This isn't glorifying the Lord..." But I don't make the jump to thinking "I should really stop and ask for God's help..." I need to grow in that. God is where my hope lies.

My thoughts reveal that I'm looking to myself for strength. I forget that God already knows I'm imperfect andincapablee of overcoming my sin alone. That's why he provided a savior, Jesus, to be perfect on my behalf. He knows I can't escape the desert alone - that's why he sent the gypsy to get me out of there - but I have to accept the ride.

Something else I've discovered on my game is that every time I wander into this desert, that gypsy always comes by and offers me a ride. I can count on it. And the quicker I start searching for him, the quicker I regain the ground I lost.

One of my favorite lines in this prayer is "I bless thee that those who turn aside may return to thee immediately, and be welcomed without anything to commend them, notwithstanding all their former backslidings." What hope! I can't be bad enough for God to reject me. I can't spend enough time in the desert for him to never come help me out. Jesus the gypsy will always come by and ask "Need help?" Next time, by God's grace, I'll have the presence of mind to say "yes, I do need help."

If you aren't a Christian and haven't accepted Christ's death in your place, I'd encourage you to think about getting out of the desert of your sin. All it takes is saying "yes, I do need help." See the post called the gospel for December 22 for details on this.