Pride...

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. --Proverbs 16:18

This is some scripture that even non-christians know. We hear it so much. "Pride comes before a fall". Biblical language is a little more severe though. Pride goes before destruction, as well as before a fall.

I've recently been sick. I've had a terrible bought of something. It may have been flu, it may have been just a terrible cough, but whatever it was, I hadn't experienced such a thing in years. Don't misunderstand - I've been ill from things I've eaten, from exhaustion, from over exertion - but I haven't caught a virus that I couldn't shake over night since 5th grade. And that time I had to be hospitalized.

Pretty cool huh? I sure thought so. I was always the one who visited sick friends with confidence, telling them "I don't get sick." So when my husband fell ill last week, I didn't take any precautions to guard myself while I tended him. I just didn't get sick.

Well, I got sick - and I've stayed sick. I'm well into my second week off work. It's awful. I never was able to understand why people with colds couldn't just suck it up and get on with their duties - but man, if they felt anything like I do, they probably feel horrible! No wonder! All these sicky sensations are pretty new to my adult mind. I couldn't remember what a fever felt like from 5th grade. And all this hacking and wheezing - and what was this stuff gurgling in my lungs?! Blech - just let me lay here and stare into oblivion. Maybe if I stop breathing it'll go away...

We were at the dinner table last night and my husband shared an impression he got while he was praying for me during his quiet time. He said that he felt the Lord really wanted to give me back my health, but once he did, I needed to acknowledge to him that my stregnth against sickness wasn't my own doing - it was his gift. He sustains my heath, and I needed to stop acting like it was something I'd accomplished and I had the right to boast in.

Well, God had been sending me this same message ever since I fell ill. I told my husband he was absolutely right and thanked him for sharing with me.

Stephan said something else that was actually very wise last night: "It's amazing how true the Bible is sometimes!" He said it somewhat in jest, humbly trying to convey to me how in our pride we're sometimes surprised when we see biblical principle work out in life - although we shouldn't be. He's right. Why was I surprised when I got sick? I'd been boasting about my immune system for years. That would definitely classify as a "hauty attitude". Why was I surprised when God destroyed my reason for boasting? It's right there in scripture!

This just shows how dangerous pride is. It blinded me. (and this wasn't the first time!) I was so wrapped up in my self inflation that I didn't even see my fall coming. But through being sick these two weeks I was able to readjust my persective on myself and my health, and am now in a much safer place - in God's favor.

"...God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." --James 4:6

I'd rather be recieving God's grace than his opposition - and now I will be since I've stopped boasting in my 'own' ability to stay healthy and started deflecting the glory back to God - who deserves it. Scripture promises it. God promises it.

I need to be aware of two things:

1. This sickness was God's mercy on me - it revealed this terrible pride! That's far kinder than just letting me stay proud and boastful - and standing dead center of God's opposition.
2. That I'm prey to this same sin again - I'm not immune to any sin, and this same pattern could arise again. I need to be aware of it and pray against it.

Boy, when I started praying to learn humility, I didn't expect the lessons to come at such a rapid-fire pace, but they are. I hope I can keep up. Think of the fruit this could yeild in my life?