Watch your Language!

My husband is taking a discipleship class at our church. He's recently decided to start photocopying his class articles and giving them to me so we can discuss them. I'm super excited. We did our first article last night. It's titled Watch your Language! and funnily enough, it has little to do with swearing.

Here's a very poingiant paragraph explaining how important our language is in God's eyes:

Scirpture warns us to tak our language seriously. The battle for the tongue is the battle for the Christian life. Jesus once described the judgement day as the time when men would give account "for every careless word they utter" (Mathew 12:36). Our use of language, he said, defined the difference between the saved and the unsaved. "By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matthew 12:37). Language is so important because it reveals who you are. Good trees bear good fruit, and bad trees, bad fruit. Each man brings forth what is inside; "out of the abundance of hte heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). There fore,Paul Exhorts those who have put off the old man to "let no eveil talk come out of your mouhts, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29).

Pretty serious stuff. The article then goes on to confirm that yes, foul and profane language is foul and profane, but there are other forms of bad language that Christians need to be on guard against. I was particularly affected by this:

The world is constantly looking for ways to make it's behavior sound normal, acceptable, and right...[For example, w]e live in a society where excessive spending is common. Yet we rarely hear the word greed used to describe it. Such a lifestyle is merely "comfortable". ...Terms not only describe; they interpret. When we use a word such as gossip, many biblical images and exhortations come to mind - as well they should. When we try to describe the same activity in a more "neutral" fashion, what we really do is describe it in an unbiblical way. God's descriptive categories are not neutral ..."Neutrality" is really a surrender to unbelief. It is a refusal to speak and think from God's perspective. Speaking "neutrally" is a failure to proclaim God's truth to a lost world and call it to repentance.

Now we begin to see the point and purpose of the article: "All of our words, like all of our actions, reflect either obedience to God or disobedience." Our words are telling. By using words that discribe actions as neither good nor bad, just there, we're neutralizing something that is either good or bad. We speak as if emotions and reactions just "happen" or just "exists", thus eliminating our reponsibility for them. In one accurate sentence the author uses the example "I was just "cranky," not really unkind or unloving or hateful." Wow.

A critical supporting point the author makes is that we remove the responsibility off ourselves and onto our circumstances. The situation caused the anger in me, instead of I reacted angrily in the midst of the situation. What a huge difference! Here's some imagry that I found extremely wise, insightful and enlightening:

A person is like a sponge; the circumstances of our lives squeeze the sponge. What comes out of a sponge when you squeeze it? Well, that dependes on what was in the sponge to begin with. If the sponge was soaked with ink, ink would come out; if it was soaked with water, then water would come out. So it is with the believer. If you are full of the life of Jesus, then you respond to unpleaseant circumstances in Christlike ways. If you are full of worldiness and selfish cravings, then your behavior relects this likewise. ... So circumstances squeeze the sponge. And ink comes out. Why? There are two possible answers: (1) because the sponge was squeezed (why ink came out) ; or (2) because ink is in the sponge (why ink came out). The bible's answer to the "why" question is the second. God's interest is in why ink came out,
rather than something else.

Is it any wonder that there's more stuff underlined in my copy of this article than not? How helpful! And how adjusting - God isn't interested in the fact that I'm a sponge being squeezed - he's looking at what's wringing out of me. We live in a sinful, fallen world - we're going to be squeezed. It's inescapable. Our attention shouldn't be consumed by the squeeze - it should be focused on what's coming out of us when the squeeze is on. We can't control the squeeze, but we can change our output - and isn't that what Christian living is all about? Controlling our output?

He discribes another temptation that we can easily fall prey to. I found this also incredibly helpful:

There is often a temptation to think of these sinful reactions as being caused both by your sinful heart and difficult circumstances. This is the subtle temptation of self-righteousness: to blame yourself, but only partially; to take some reponsibility, but only some. ...We tend to explain sinful behavior by talking about the situation. We
say we did something because...and don't admit that our hearts are the only cause. Is that so bad? Yes! It's subtle; but these kinds of statements about causes and motives are an attack on God's truth. We half excuse oruselves adn so can't rightly repent. By pointing to our circumstances rather than to ourselves, we are robbed of faith that things can really be different. Circumstances might again be unpleasant. [We have no guarantee that bad circumstances won't befall us again. If that's why we produce ink when squeezed,] it will happen again. But in Christ [we have]
a greater and more realistic hope. [We have] the gospel to change [us].

Ah, the cure that heals all hurts, the Gospel. I always appreciate it when authors writing on any topic bring the reader's attention back to this. In a powerful closing paragraph, the author says this:

Don't be overwhelmed by the process. If you look at your speech adn see sin everywhere, that's an encouraging first step! Unless our experience of sin abounds, our experience of grace cannot much more abound. Grace abounds much more when a heightened awareness of sin drives us both to deeper repentence and a greater appreciation of the awesome power of Christ in setting us free, both in forgiving and transorming us.

Hope is always found in the 'power of christ' - the gospel.

I read this article yesterday afternoon, and I can't believe the difference it has made in my speech so far. My husband unknowingly offended me yesterday, and I withdrew from him. Because he didn't realize his action had hurt me, he approached me to give me a hug like he normally would. I shrugged him off and exclaimed "No." "Why?" he asked, confused. "Because I'm grudging!" I screamed. We were both silent for a second, then I began giggling, and he followed, and soon we were both in histarics. "How disarming!" I commented when we were through. How disarming indeed. The day before I would have said "Because I don't feel like it!"- and this never gave anyone any clue as to what had happened, what the problem was, and how to work toward reconciliation. But with a simple shift to using a more accurate word to discribe my heart, it took no time to reconcile with my husband - the problem was immediately identified, blame was (rightly) placed on me and I couldn't hide from it.

Comical though it was, it was a hugely encouraging experience for me. For years I've lamented to Stephan that sometimes emotions will well up within me so fast that I can't discern them before I'm completely overtaken. But after reading this article, instead of telling Stephan "I'm upset", I can say "I'm angry!" or "I'm fearful!" or "I'm depressed." - and that's much less vague. Scripture provides direction for how to handle these sins, it doesn't speak about vaguities like "I'm bummed." There's hope in clarity.

All quotes taken from "Watch your Language!" by E. Bradley Beevers, The Journal of Biblical Counseling, Volume XII, Number 3, Spring 1994