I got here early enough to sit in on the introductory lecture for the course. It was the first time I had done it. It was cool to see the course director lecture. I'm used to interacting with this guy with both of us trying to get some food in our guts as we go through course plans, me folded up in his deep arm chair and he with his feet propped up on his desk. But today he was dressed in collar and tie and was using words I never would have credited to his intellect. He's actually a very good speaker (has a little trouble with the concept of a clip-on microphone, but otherwise, a very good speaker!) - and obviously a gifted scientist and teacher.
Well, I was absolutely captivated. After the lecture I quietly slipped out the back and returned to my desk, but as soon as the course director came back I scurried down to his office and said "Can I just take the course?"
Back at my desk, I began to think about my life 3 years ago. I had been in school in a pre-med program. It had been my goal to be an MD, just like all 178 students in that lecture. They would all go one to pour their lives into their career - which for them wasn't only medicine, by military. They'd learn things I'd never learn, have experiences I'd never have, see things I'd never see, aquire skills I'd never master, and be the doctors I'd never be. The course introduction had been very interesting, and I began thinking about going home and pulling my beloved biology text book off the shelf and flipping through it again.
Kari Evans, M.D., had been my dream 3 years ago. And what had happend? Well, I did get some new letters after my name, but not the ones I had expected. Instead of 'M.D.' I aquired 'Faherty'. I traded doctordom for wifedom, medicine for marraige. Had I traded down?
I thought about it. In the one hand, 30 years from now, I could have:
- I could have a career in medicine where I could potentially save a couple hundred lives
- A wealth of knowledge unheld by the average joe
- Recognition
- A ludicrous salary
- Maybe even fame!
- ...well, all that if my health held out long enough for me to make it through training, which it doesn't look like it would have...
- and even if it did and I made it to residency, I'd have hours that restricted my time for family and church
- so that would have put off marriage until, when? About age 30?
- and how am I to be serving my local church with crazy hours?
- no, wait, how am I to be serving my home and family with crazy hours?
- yikes.
So, in the other hand I had my life as it actually exists:
- The best husband in the world, second to none
- nearly 3 years of marriage I wouldn't trade for any amount of fame, money, or education
- 2 years at the best church in the world, second to none, with the prospect of decades more attending and serving in that same church
- more spiritual growth in my life since I stopped college than in all my pre-marriage years combined
- a proper understanding of the Gospel
- freedom to let my husband lead our family without having to fight to keep a career afloat
- freedom to serve my home and family without other pressures
- the potential to start a family earlier and experience more of my childrens' lives
- and thanks to the lack of distractions, a chance to get my priorities straight: God, Family, Church.
This wasn't how my priorities were, well, prioritized 3 years ago. I had a bunch of idols vying for God's place on the throne of my worship. But some sound doctrine, good teaching, and alot of Gospel-talk later, I've come to see that God's will was never for me to pour my life into a career. He wants me to pour it into him - and for me as a wife, this means service oriented toward my home and my family. This would have been severly hindered by a time consuming career like medicine.
So, Kari MD in one hand, Kari Faherty in the other. Did I trade down? I dont' think so. Scripture doesn't think so - and I truly believe God doesn't think so.
PS - my husband doesn't think so either.
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