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Them: "So, how many kids do you have?"

Me: "Well, none yet."

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Them: "You've done this before, haven't you?"

Me: "Yeah...lots of times. I'm definitely no stranger to holding newborns. I've got lots of "nieces" and "nephews!"

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Me: "I know it's not supposed to be public yet...but congratulations on your pregnancy!"

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Them: "You're seriously the most experienced non-parents at parenting in the church."

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I've heard all this within the past few days. All of it's a painful reminder that I'm not yet a mom...but I made a comment today that made enduring all the others worth it.

One of the other secretaries came back to my desk today and asked me if I'd like to meet her friend. This friend was a 5 month old baby she was holding while her mom filled out some paperwork in the front lobby. My coworker and I greeted her and delighted in her smile, and as this secretary was leaving to reunite baby with mom, my coworker said "Aw... I want one!"

I sat down a little shocked at what I was thinking. Very unlike me for the past few years. I voiced my thought: "Me too..." I said, "but I want God more."

We were both quiet for a minute. Then I started smiling. "I mean it," I said. "How cool is that, that I really mean it?"

"That's really cool..." she said. The hesitancy with which she spoke wasn't due to awkwardness. This gal has been acquainted with my struggle and has watched me agonize over it. She's heard me say "I'd give anything..." But now, I wasn't saying that.

I went to her desk and sat down. "You know," I told her. "2008 was arguably the toughest year of my life because I wanted kids so badly. But God used that time to teach me that I wasn't created to live for and be satisfied in anything but him. I wouldn't ever want to repeat that year - but I wouldn't trade the things I learned about God and who he is for anything. ANYTHING."

Even I was surprised with the passion with which I spoke. But I meant it. This was coming from deep down in my gut.

It's almost 2010. I'm nearly 30. This is NOT how I would have ordered my life. But God had better things in store for me than a full family by 30. He wanted me to understand who he is, and who I am, and what the Gospel is, and he wanted to make me more like Christ. I don't understand him fully, and I've got a long way to go in becoming like Christ, but I'm a little closer now because I've had to wait on this blessing.

I pray every day God will bring kids - but not at the expense of something better God might have for me. I know now there are better things.

Fully Manual

Before my husband took me to Italy last May (as if that weren't enough), he bought me a digital SLR (translation: fancy camera). I've been unstoppable with it ever since. I've always been an artistically-inclined archivist. How did I go 2 decades without ever being introduced to this art?!

Stephan told me the basics, and I started taking pictures on a semi-manual mode that gave me some control while still letting the camera do some things for me.

Well, today, 3 months later, Stephan gently offered that it was time to make the jump. "You should start shooting manual all the time," he said.

He's always right.

So we've transitioned. Here's one of my first shots on fully manual, one that came at the end of a long string of 'snap...look at picture...change setting...snap...' etc.

I immediately jumped on my brother-in-law's facebook (yeah, the professional photographer brother-in-law...that one) and announced my achievement...and said that he might now have a rival for our parents-in-law's wall space... though, not likely. He's kind of amazing. But I'm OK with that. He can be amazing - and I can watch him and try to get better, and have a blast while I do it!

Italy Bound!

I've been absent from this blog for a while, busily keeping another, which is cataloging the ramp up to and eventually our Italy trip itself.

you can visit it here.

Can't wait!! I'm expectant that God is going to meet me while I'm there. I've got lots to pray about.

?!

So Stephan just walked up to me holding a bottle of my homemade olive oil body scrub.

"Did you notice the spider that drowned in here?"

It was one of those *blink blink* moments.  Sure enough, a tiny spider was floating in the olive oil.

Good thing the bottle was almost empty...

A Godly Man's Picture...

There he is!  Pounding away at the computer, just like he has for the past 2 years.  He's pounding the Starbucks too - because he's slept very little this week and has had a full day at work every day.  Going to bed early isn't an option this week, because he takes his last final tomorrow and presents his thesis on Friday.  Oh, and did I leave out the bit about me getting angry and him having to lay everything down to help me with a little heart work?  Yeah... that took a good 45 minutes... twice this week...  Some of those late nights were my doing...

Ephesians 5 says that Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it.  They're to love her as they would their own bodies, for no one hates his own flesh, but cares for it and cherishes it - just like Jesus cares for and cherishes the church, because we're part of his body if we've trusted in his death for our sins.

One of the pastors at our church preached on this passage recently.  In the course of the message he posed a question to the husbands present: "Men, have you loved your wife in a way that cost you something recently?"

I really think I live with the most compelling example of this passage ever.  From the instant I became Stephan's wife, he's loved me sacrificially.   These past 2 years of graduate school have been years of cost to him - he's give up sleep, leisure, and preference after preference after preference.  And he's not doing it for a career - he's doing it for me.  Talk about laying your life down.

Just a little tribute, Stephan - I know it will probably embarass you.  But I'm not posting anything the world wouldn't already see by watching you.  Thank you for loving me in a way that cost you something.  I can't wait to see you reap the rewards of your hard work in Italy!  9 days!!

GOD has done it!

I just read this in my quiet time:

"When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them.  I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys.  I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. ...that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it."  -Isa 41:17-20

That they may see and know... This is a precious phrase (or variant of a phrase) to see in scripture.  God owes us nothing.  He never has to reveal his motives or plans to us.  But to catch glimpses of what he's doing behind the scenery of our lives is always heartening.

There are days when I've felt thirsty...thirsty for certainty, for clarity, for direction, for stregnth... The Bible tells us in numerous places that God has promised not to forsake us - so why then do we thirst?  I can feel forsaken in those times.  

This verse tells us that God's intention isn't to leave us thirsty forever.  He withholds the water so we turn to him for it - and when he grants it, it's with the purpose of making us understand that He is our supplier, our wellspring.  He is the source of our satisfaction.  Any of god's gifts are meant to point us back to him.  Sometimes he lets us thirst so that he can get our attention back from something else we've pinned it on.

There's another place in scripture where language like this is used.  These words were spoken by Moses as he was presenting the people of Israel with the original tables inscribed with the Ten Commandments:

"And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. ...Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments..., lest, when you have eaten and are full, and have built good houses and live in them, and when ...all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness...that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end.  Beware lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.'  You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day." Selections from Dueteronomy 8

This is clear and hope-giving.  God let the people of Israel hunger in the wilderness, then provided their food to point them back to himself, their true source of sustainance.  And he warns them against ever thinking that their needs are met merely by their own stregnth, stating bluntly that, though they work, it is God who is behind their ability to work at all - and he does it to show his care for a people whom he's set his love on, to show again his faithfulness to his promises and committment to his covenant.

So, I don't think it's a leap in logic to confidently say that, when we're in trial, God allows us to thirst or hunger in order that we might realize our need, then, when he fulfills our needs, we'd say "GOD has done it!"

I've felt poor and needy and thirsty.  I feel like I've been allowed to hunger in a terrifying wilderness.  Today is day 15 in the countdown to Stephan finishing graduate school.  His masters has been a long row to how, as they say (abundantly moreso for him than me!).  And now that I'm nearly done, I can look back and see wonderful patterns.  When I needed water, God provided refreshment through his spirit when I prayed or others prayed for me.  When I needed food, he fed me through his word, in both my personal readings and other believers bringing it to me.  And afterward, every time I've said in my heart God has done it.  Every time he meets a need, I'm reminded more and more how much I need him to meet it.  Beyond that, every new time I give a little less thought to looking for water or food in another place - I just come to God quicker and quicker in the first place.  This is good training!

I realize this post has a gloomy tone - but I want to clarify that I'm not gloomy!  This is weighty but exciting stuff to have seen work out in my personal life.  It makes this amazing, merciful God realer to me, and strengthens my faith that he's designed my circumstances to 'do me good in the end' too.  

Gumball Machine!

Last year I asked Stephan if we could get a gumball machine.  He said no, mostly on financial grounds.  We were completely provided for and not in any danger of going hungry - but an expensive (and they are expensive...) gumball machine wasn't a need at that time, and probably wasn't wise.  After our discussion I agreed with him completely, and we abandoned the gumball machine in solidarity.

Tonight, months and months and months later, we saw a play at church.  The play was AMAZING.  It was based on John Bunyan's book Pilgrim's Progress, a phenomenal allegory of Christian life.  The main character, named Christian, makes his way long a path - and sometimes the path is hard.  Sometimes he wants to give up.  In one scene of the play, he comes upon an old acquaintance named Goodwill, and is telling her how badly he wants to get to the Celestial City, where his journey will end and he can rest.  She lovingly tells him that his time will come, but not to rush.  "There's much the King has given us to enjoy along the path!" she said.

Did I mention that Goodwill, in our play, was cast as an Irish girl who plays the fiddle?

She started playing, and then to everyone's surprise, and my great joy, there was an Irish step-dancing number - with bagpipes even!  I adore Irish music, especially fiddle music, and clapped my way through the whole number.  I was really blessed by it.

Driving home, I told Stephan how I felt genuinely encouraged, that something so personally enjoyable was written into the play as something symbolizing the rest and delight God wants us to have along the way in life.

When we got home, our parking space had been parked in, so we had to drive up and around the court to turn around.  On the way, we passed something sitting on the side of the road.

"Hey," Stephan said, "you still want a gumball machine?"

Yes, it was a retro gumball machine that someone was throwing out - and yes, I still wanted it, so I jumped out and grabbed it, and now it's sitting in my living room, soon to be filled with spherical joy.

Just a little bit of rest and delight God meant for me to have along the way in life, I guess!

"Consider Him..."

It's been a long time since I posted what God was teaching me in my quiet times... it used to be my primary post material, but recently I've taken to only posting after I've stopped laughing when something outrageous happens to me.  I want to catch that stuff to remember later, for sure - but I want to catch the little ways God encourages my soul too.  Those are the things that affect my heart later.

Today is day 21 is our countdown to Stephan finishing grad school.  Neither of us can believe we're so close!  I say "we" at Stephan's insistance.  He says this is something we're doing together - and he's right...at least, if my weariness of it all is any indicator...

This morning I woke up wanting nothing more than to have his attention.  And, this was the one day of the semester he just couldn't give it.  The largest segment of his final paper is due, well, in 2 hours - before midnight tonight.  It's been a hard push this week, and an even harder push today.  There wasn't any leeway to be spending time with me...

I've been reading through the book of Isaiah, but today, having those "I just can't do this anymore..." thoughts, I flipped to Hebrews 12 and read one short but powerful verse:

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."  -Heb 12:3

Weary and fainthearted... yep, that about summed it up.  And the author of Hebrews was just as faithful as Paul or Peter before him to point me back to the one solution to every problem I'll ever face: the gospel.

Jesus endured much more than I'll ever have to...and this verse says that he did it so that I might not grow weary or fainthearted.  When I think of him - and who is 'him'? My savior, my mediator, my way to the Father - who endured the wrath of God that I deserved for my sin, it's much easier to press on in joy and persevere through tough times.  Why?  Because since Jesus endured what he did, I now have access to the father to ask for help when I need it, and the holy spirit living in me to give me power to endure myself, just like Christ did.

So, today, I've considered him, my savior, who endured such hostility and scorn from sinners like me, to take my punishment so that I'll never have to, and remembered that becaues he did it I have stregnth for today and bright hope for tomorrow - and this buoys me up as I endure for this life, until my final rest comes in heaven

(...or, my temporary rest comes in Italy.  21 DAYS!!!)

The King of Bohemia

I recently started another blog, (mostly to amuse my friends and husband), spoofing off one of Stephan's favorite nick-names for me: his Bohemian Princess.

I want to post the gospel anywhere I can, so I wrote this little story for said blog.  It's posted in the sidebar there, but I wanted to feature it here, because really - it's an amazing story.

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THE KING OF BOHEMIA

A princess implies a king.  Bohemia does have a king - and this king has a son, a son who had to come looking for me after I'd rebelled against my father.  When he found me, I'd already made such a huge mess of things...in fact I'd given myself intothe slavery of a decietful, cruel master, who'd promised me my heart's desires, but delivered only suffering.  My master wouldn't let me go without a huge ransom, which the King's son paid.  He told me the King was calling me back, and had sent him to ransom me.  But how could I face the King again?  I was a wreck - a dirty, dissobedient child.  "Here," said the son.  "Let's get rid of these filthy, crimson rags you're wearing...take my clothes, and when we get there, I'll take you into the King's presence, and I'll plead for you."  

I said I'd trust him.  And he's still there, at the King's right hand, pleading for me.

"Nothing's broken!"

You may remember the fruit fly battle of July 11th. I count that one of the best day of my life - and I was just waiting for another moment like that when I arrived at the home of the Wilcox family in early March.

A bit about the fam: I was introduced to Dad via a phone call I took at work. He explained that he was interested in attending Starting Point, and asked if he could bring his kids.

"Well," I said, "we'll never tell a parent they can't keep their children with them," I said. "You as the parents can decide whether your kids would benefit from being there, or if you'd rather them participate in our children's ministry. How old are your children?" (Innocent enough question.)

"They range from 2 to 17," He said.

I'm glad he couldn't see my eyebrows draw down. "Oh," I said, "How many are there, if you don't mind?"

"Nine," he said, without skipping a beat. I'm wish he could have see my eyebrows shoot up.

"Really!" I said, very intrigued now.

"They're very well behaved, even the 2 year old. They're used to sitting still when we ask them to. I'm sure they'd be fine in the class."

"Well," I said, grinning broadly now, "We'll have to pull out a few more chairs for you, but otherwise there are no problems! See you Sunday! Please introduce yourself!"

I love fateful days like that. They were unmistakable when they walked in that day, and they still are, every time they burst through the classroom doors to greet me and Stephan as we do our Starting Point work, even though they've long finished the class. The whole family is light-hearted, extremely articulate, devoted to each other, well mannered, wildly gifted, they love the Lord - and they're Civil War Reinactors. Talk about a cherry on top.

I was extatic the day Dad extended a dinner invitation to us. We went, we had a blast tripping over ourselves with all their names, hearing all their stories, being shown around the sewing rooms and the bicycles and the enormous pantry. We left really hoping we'd be invited back...

And we were! In early March, Mom and the 2 oldest girls were going to a conference. Dad wanted to take his oldest son to a meeting at church called Manskool (I know, pretty cool 'K' action there), which is for dads and sons, and then in the evening to another meeting (called 10:31), which is for all parents and their teenage kids.

But with mom and the other girls gone, all the family babysitters were away. And so, we were called. Could we babysit the youngest 5 in the morning during Manskool, then again in the evening during the 10:31 meeting? YES!

And so I arrived that fateful morning. Stephan was taking that time to study, so I was flying solo. I and the kiddos cleaned the house from stem to stern, and I only had one "uh-oh, lost one..." moment. We were sweeping out the garage when Dad returned. I bid farewell and promised to see everyone in a few hours, when I returned with Stephan.

And return we did. We had dinner with the family and sent Dad and oldest son off to their meeting. We had a great time with the other kids. Stephan played chess...and I think was beaten by a few of his challengers. We watched Inspector Gadget. Then, it was time for bed.

Stephan is fond of saying getting children to do anything en mass is like herding cats. No exception here. Up and down the stairs they went..."I'm just grabbing water!"..."Look at my PJs!"..."Are you going to sleep here?"

It came up that the 2nd-oldest son was supposed to start the dishwasher after dinner. We sent him to bed (he locked all the doors before going like a good man of the house!) and said we'd take care of it. And take care of it we did! ...Oh, boy did we take care of it...

That morning we'd used cleaning products unlike any I'd ever seen. Very natural and unique. So when I looked under the sink for the dishwashing detergent, I wasn't thinking "box of detergent"...I saw the bottle and held it up to read the lable.

"I dont' see any instructions for how much to use..." I said. "Oh well. Must just be the normal amount." ...and I filled up the cups.

Stephan and I then took a seat at the table. Man, I thought, we're so good at this babysitting thing... not only are the kids in bed on time, but they're intact. We've done the dishes and started the dishwasher. They're sooooo going to want us back...

What's that proverb? "Pride before a fall," or something?

"Stephan, is there any tea?" I said with a pretty little flick of my wrist. "Let's brew some and just sit and talk until Dad and Son get home."

We did brew tea. We did sit and talk, and it was a great talk for about 20 minutes. Then I set my cup down, and in turn set my hand down in something on the table, and noticed it hadn't been wiped down after dinner.

I'm going to push this right over the top, I thought to myself, standing. I'm going to wipe off the table!

So I round the counter to get a rag, and the rest I can tell only from Stephan's discription. Apparently I froze and looked like a tarantula had just crawled out from under the counter.

"What's wrong?" he asked, getting up.

At first I couldn't answer. "W...we did something wrong!" I finally managed as he rounded the counter.

The dishwasher had rabies. It was foaming from all edges, and a little ocean was puddling in front of it. I had no idea what to do.

Thank God for husbands. Stephan stepped up to the dishwasher and opened it, revealing wall-to-wall foam in side. Everything was encased. I raise my hands to my face and let out a long breath. "Oh my..." I said.

Stephan pulled the bottle of 'detergent' out from under the sink. "Is this what you used?" he asked, holding it up to me.

"Yes..." I answered weakly.

He replaced it and shut the cabinet with a smile. "That's dishwashing liquid," he sang. "You put that on rags in the sink."

I covered my face with my hands. Then I started laughing. "What do we do...?" I said.

Stephan pulled the bottom rack out of the dishwasher and handed it to me. I took it an looked around me, finally just putting it down in the center of the kitchen floor.

"Don't worry," he said. "I've made this mistake before." He then went on to explain how once, as a kid, he'd run out of dishwasher detergent and though "soap is soap", and filled up the dishwasher with dishwashing liquid as well.

"You can't tell a dishwasher to drain," he said as he rolled up his sleeves, reached into the dishwasher, and litereally pulled out a armful after armful of suds, "so we've got to get out as much of the bubbles and soapy water that we can."

"By hand?" I asked.

"By hand," he said, smiling and reachingi n for another armful.

I started regaining fuctionality then, and moved to the sink, rinsing the bubbles he put there to make them dissapate before the next armful arrived. After this, Stephan took a cup off the top rack of the dishwasher and started scooping out the soapy water that had collected at the bottom of the dishwaser. Praise the Lord I'd been there that morning when we were cleaning and knew where the mop and towels were! I took that time to clean up the floor. Last, we took sports bottles (fortunately they're all cyclists too - did I mention that?), and as Stephan sprayed down the sides, I filled the next cannon with clean water from the sink, and back and forth we went until the well at the bottom of the dishwasher was full again. Stephan scopped that out with the cup again.

About this time I realized that Dad and Son could return any minute. "What od we say when they get home?" I began rambling to Stephan as I stood behind him, mop in hand, soaking up new drips of water the moment they hit the floor. "How do you put someone at ease when they come home to find this? 'You're kids are sleeping soundly?' 'You're kids are alive?'"

Stephan endured it patiently, as he aways does. We were beginning to think we might get the whole mess neutralized when we heard banging on the garage door. I remembered that second-oldest son had locked all the doors before going to bed, so now Dad and Son were trapped outside.

"That's them..." I said, beginning to giggle. I leaned the mop against the counter and stepped over the bottom dishwasher rack on my way to the door. I grabbed the doorknob...then firmly planted my other hand on the doorframe.  When I opened the door, there was no way around me.  It was son.

"I just want to preface your entry with 'nothing's broken,'" I said, cheerfully.

His eyebrows dropped.  "Oooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy......" he said, shouldering past me.  Behind me I heard his reaction.  "Oh  my gosh!  What did you do?!"  

No time to celebrate with them.  I still had to break the news to dad, who was just getting out of the car.

"Hi!" I called from my place in the doorway, and repeated what I'd said to his son.

He paused, one foot out of he car, one still in.  "Alright," he said, perfectly controlled.  "And what's the bad news?"

I toyed with saying something cute for only a millisecond.  Dad was a military man, and I knew how that crowd rolled.  I decided to just be direct.  "Bottom line up front," I said, "I put dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher, and now your floor is really clean."

He was coming in the door by that time, and came in, percieving the dishwashing rack on the floor immediately.  "Wow," he said.  "So, what happened again?"

We told the whole story again as Stephan scooped out the last of the water and I took a rag to the counter, then the mop to the floor.  Here I want to extol this family for how good-natured they are.  They listened and laughed appropriately (espeically when I recounted how I poured the liquid in even after not seeing any dishwashing instructions on the bottle).  They then poked fun at me, but all the while assuring me everything was fine.  I love people like that - ones who can laugh when things are funny, but without making anyone feel condemned.  What could have been humiliating turned out to be pretty edifying.

Everything was under control by the time we left.  We'd left the dishwasher opened so long that the cycle settings all reset and we were able to restart it with the appropriate detergent.  All reports since then indicate no permanent damage done.  Phew. 

Arlington

1999 - The Evans family got their next set of orders: not Japan, as hoped for, to in a suburb of Washington D.C.

2001 - Kari was unexpectedly (and undeservedly) accepted to a scholarship program at a local community college.


2001 - In said scholarship program, Kari met her future husband, as well as 3 members of the church she now considers the dearest place on earth.


2003 - Stephan and Kari graduate from Montgomery College with their A.A.s


2004 - Stephan and Kari wed


2004 - Stephan and Kari join Covenant Life Church - to everyone's surprise...even their own.

2005 - Stephan graduated from American University with is B.A. and begins looking for a job in his field, International Relations. He sets his sights on D.C.


2007 - Kari accepts a job at Covenant Life as the church's Starting Point administrator, getting the wildly fun job of personally greeting everyone exploring membership in the church


2008 - After years in retail management, being unable to land a job in his field, and after much prayer, Stephan returns to school to get his masters degree


2008 - Approaching his first summer of grad school, Stephan begins looking for an internship and recieves an offer...


"Wait, why are we even talking about DHS?"


I put this question to Stephan as he discribed the two interviews he was going to in the coming week. I was driving home from a training session for a crazy-fun service opportunity later that year, and he was driving home from school.


"...because I think it might be more interesting," he answered.


I chewed on that for a moment. I'd been praying for years that he'd find a job he enjoyed. I really didn't want to dismiss his honest comment lightly.


"Yeah..." I started, "...but you'd be taking an internship for the summer."


"Right," he confirmed.


"...as opposed to the position at Justice, taking an indefinite internship that would continue through your next year with flexible hours, health benefits, and the possibility of rolling into an actual job at the end..."


He was quiet for only a second.


"...yeah, why are we talking about DHS?" He laughed.


I smiled. Practicality ruled the day again. He declined the interview with DHS the following day and accepted the position at the Department of Justice.


He worked part time and finished his next semester strong. Then, in May, our marriage turned 4, and instead of a trip to a tropical paradise, we opted to go to the New Attitude (now NEXT) Conference, and serve on their excentric hospitality arm - a group of weirdos lovingly introduced to the conference attendees as "the Ninjas".


We took up a red messenger bag stuffed with toothbrushes, playing cards, and lots of candy, and surprised and delighted the folks at New Attitude by slipping in and paying for their bookstore purchases unexpectedly, saving front row seats in the main sessions, handing out pens to those who forgot them, and showering them with fistfuls of candy. It was an absolute blast.


And all that in the service of my savior. Whoa.


And, it should be mentioned that an insanely fun (or...just...insane) duo named David and Casey also served as Ninjas...and we kinda hit it off.


We returned to Maryland thoroughly exhausted after a 7 hour delay on our flight home (full of cavorting in the airport...a story for another day). But, sometime after that, life returned to the Faherty house...and David and Casey made their first appearance too. The hitting-off persisted, and they quickly became some of our dearest friends.


Conversation began to drift out into the spring of 2009, when Stephan would graduate. We were convinced now that he'd find work in DC, being as there were few other places in the country where someone with his skills and training would be in demand. His commute was rigorous, and we started discussing if moving closer to the city would be a good idea.


"We only commute to church once a week," he'd say, "and caregroup is only once a week too. I'm going down to the city 5 days a week. All the time I'm spending in the car is time I'm not with you, and won't be with our kids one day."


His argument was compelling. "Well, let's see what it would take to move down nearer Bethesda," I said. "Or, perhaps we should even check out northern Virginia. Maybe there's a tax difference or something..."


"Yeah, I'm open to anything," he said. "We just couldn't be too far from Covenant Life unless we knew there was another good church there for us."


"Right," I confirmed. A variation of this conversation had been had throughout the years, and it always ended with that exchange: there must be a church there for us, or else we won't go. Right.


Thursdays are staff meeting morning at the church, and we all gather around a big table to hear from the church's adminstrator and pray. I was sick one particular thursday, and when I got to work, I found an email waiting for me from the administrator's assistant with the minutes of the meeting. One line in particular caught my eye. I immediately forwarded it to Stephan.


"They're planting a church in Arlington," I wrote. "We'd been talking about northern Virginia...should we pray about this?"


Stephan's always snappy on email. "Yeah, we can pray about it," he replied.


David and Casey came for dinner again, as they'd become accustomed to doing. We posed the normal "What's new with you?" question and got a surprising response.


"Well, David can't stop talking about Arlington."


Stephan and I looked at each other, then to David for an explaination. Apparently his heart had been stirred up big time after hearing about the plant, and he and Casey were seriously considering being part of the team.


A 'we are too' conversation followed. We both confessed that the thought of the other going to Arlington too built faith for going themselves.


The announcement was made to the church not long after. "If you're interested in exploring being a part of this plant, there will be a meeting next Saturday," our senior pastor said.

After many "Whadayouthink?"s and about 7 days, the meeting arrived. We were all asked to fill out a little questionnaire when we got there.

"On a scale of 1 to 10," one question read, "with 1 being 'not going' and 10 being 'I'm ready to move', where would you fall in terms of the church plant?"

I confidently wrote down "5". This was all very exciting, but I still had to be sold on it. It would be a huge change.

The meeting began. We heard some logistics, saying the pastors were hoping for a summer-time launch of the church. We heard some statistics, which were also seriously compelling and interesting. Then the guy who would be leading the church as it's new senior pastor, Eric, got up to talk.

He told us about a time a friend of his had called him in a panic, saying he just needed to talk to someone. Eric told him to come on over. This fellow was what the world would call 'messed up.' He had piercings all over and tatoos to cover the rest, was addicted to alcohol and drugs, and was absolutely petrified of getting HIV from his premiscuous lifestyle.

Eric recounted how he listed to his friend, and tried to share the hope of the gospel with him. He told of his friend balled up and rocking on the floor of his deck, absolutley overcome with fear. Then he told us about what happened after his friend left, and he gathered up his wife and 3 kids, and they all prayed for him - and Eric thought as he prayed "man, I just want to do this all the time. I want to hold out the hope of the gospel to the people like my friend who the world has written off as 'messed up'."

I discreetly scratched out my 5 and replaced it with a 9. "Me too..." I thought. I didn't have exactly the same burden, but his heart to show mercy to the people society has rejected did resonate with me deeply.

We left the meeting and had a dinner with David and Casey. We were all pretty moved, but aware we'd have to count the costs.

Stephan and took stock of life over the next few days. Stephan had a job in DC. We both loved being downtown. We both had a desire to care for those with physical needs, and there was such a concentration of them in the city...it seemed like God was channeling us toward the city. We met with our pastor and he remained very involved through the whole process. As we talked more, the plant began to make more and more sense...and we slowly transitioned to saying "When we move to Arlington" instead of "If we move to Arlington"...

"Why aren't we just committing?" I asked Stephan one night. "We're already saying when, not if." It seems we're both in faith. What's holding us back?"

Stephan was very honest. "I just don't feel like I've prayed enough," he stated.

That was enough for me. When facing big decisions like this, it's absolutely critical to make the decision in faith bourne out of prayer. Otherwise, when you hit a rocky time, you'll be tempted to think you made the wrong choice. But if that decision was made in faith, you can be confident you just need to persevere. "Take all the time you need," I told Stephan.

"Give me a week," he said.

The next day he came home from work declaring he was ready to committ. "Email Eric," I said.

"Can't wait to labor with you guys in Arlington this Summer!" he responded.

----------------

That was over almost a year ago. We'd been told the team would solidify in early 2009...but we hadn't heard anything from leadership by February. An email brought the answers for the questions we were beginning to ask. The plant would be postponned, possibly up to a year - or possible canceled.

Now we're waiting for God to lead again. Everyone who'd committed was basically released by the pastors to pray and evaluate again once more details were to be had.

Why'd we have to walk this road? It's not unprecedented that God would give a clear direction to do something, then reveal that he'd had another intention all along - take the story of Abraham and Isaac, for example. Abraham had given up hope for kids by age 100 - but then God promised him a son, and a son came. Isaac, a child of promise, was born, and Abraham loved him.

Then God commanded Abraham to slay Isaac as a sacrifice to him. Abraham was heart rendingly obedient, going so far as to hold the knife in the air over his son on the alter, when God stepped in and stopped him, saying he'd commanded Abraham to do this to see his true aligence. Abraham proved true to God.

We may be experiencing a 'slay your son' moment...where we felt God say one thing, but it turns out he's got different intentions. If so - wonderful! I'm up for the adventure! God's been so faithful to us this far in life, I'm confident he will be in the future too.

More as it developes!

It's public...

From our church administrator, to the staff - 1:21pm, January 30th, 2009...

"Dear pastors and staff,

After much discussion with Kari's boss and overseeing pastor, as of this coming week, Kari will begin working a part time schedule. She and Stephan expressed a desire for her to work part time so that she can give more attention to their home prior to their transition to Arlington this summer. Kari will continue to support all aspects of Starting Point and membership when she is in the office Tuesday, part of Wednesday, and Thursday.

Any questions, please feel free to see her directly!

We are grateful for the way she continues to serve!"

"It's the little things..."

I was sitting at my desk one day laughing at something absurd I'd just read...

A friend of mine leaned over my cubical and saw me laughing. After my explaination and a pause on her part, she said "...It's the little things, I guess..."

"Oh yes!" I replied enthusiastically, "I love little things! I wish someone would just show up with a bucket of little things and just pour it out on me!" I sighed, finally getting over my chuckle. "That'd be the best..."

So what was I laughing at? The inside of a Dove candy wrapper...



Go ahead! Indulge in breathing!

I seriously lead the funniest life ever...