Stay Awake

"But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake. Therefore stay awake--for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the cock crows, or in the morning-- lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake." --Mark 13:32-37

My great grandmother died yesterday morning.

Granny Anne is what I always called her. I don't know her real name. I don't even know how she was related to me exactly. But she was always Granny.

My dad called me two nights ago to tell me he and my mom were on their way to the hospital to be with her. At 7 am yesterday he called again to tell me Granny had died.

The load of bricks fell when I reached for my keys to go to work. Granny was dead. I'd never see her again. I called the office to tell them I'd be late and took the morning to sort myself out.

I went and saw my husband at work, and he did was he usually does when I can't decipher my feelings: he points me back to the gospel and to God. He suggested that I pray for peace for my family and understanding for myself. And as I prayed for clarity, it came:

I hadn't really believed that Granny would die. She'd outlived four different husbands, for crying out loud! Everything about her was strong and steady.

But she wasn't invincible to the human condition.

Then the regret hit me. I hadn't heard all the stories. I hadn't sat at her feet and learned from her. I hadn't called her on her birthday. I hadn't taken opporutnies to see her. I hadn't thanked her for loving the Lord. I hadn't sown into her life, so I hadn't reaped anything. I hadn't...I hadn't...I hadn't...

I had fallen asleep. The hour had come for Granny, like a theif in the night. She was gone.

I had missed my chance with her, but there were other people who's lives I could sow into, right? But it was so hard...I was fortunate if I got one night a week with my own husband! I could only talk to either set of my parents but once a week these days, if that. I didn't keep in touch with my own brother or my brother and sister-in-law as much as I wanted. And friends? The occasional email was all I could manage...

Would they all die before I could contribute meaningfully to their lives and let them contribute to mine?

Stephan listened to all this patiently, then started asking questions. "Are you remembering the Gospel?" "Are you thanking God that he is soveriegn and his will is perfect?" "Do you realize that you aren't God, and being finite you can only accomplish a finite number of things, including sow into a finite number of people's lives?"

His questions are always helpful. His last was especially so. Only God can accomplish the infinite. I am finite. God understands this, and would only call me to perform a finite number of tasks. That being the case, I need to pay careful attetion to how God has ordered my relationships and prioritize the people he has placed in positions of priority. This, of course, is my husband first and formost. Next would be my family. After that would come friends, and within this group I need to pray for wisdom to know which relationships to pursue the hardest. And for those friendships I can't pursue as hard right now, I need to trust God to sustain them until I have more to give.

And beyond that - I need to do it now. I don't know when the master is coming home - I need to stay awake! I'm not garaunteed a 'later'. 'Now' is my only option if I'm going to do it. I can't 'fall asleep'. I need to be busy with the tasks my master left me when he departed - one of them being to love my neighbor.

Stephan said something very exciting in reference to my grandmother yesterday. "I remember the last time we visited Granny said she was ready to go. She wanted to be home with her savior. She died without pain, surrounded by people who loved her and who were reading scripture to her right up until the very end. Her last hours were probably some of the most exciting of her life! Grieve for yourself, but not for her."

Let me encourage you to think of how God has ordered your relationships and consider if you're sowing into them in a way that will reap good fruit later. The greatest service you can do for others is to encourage them to hate their sin more and love their Savior more. This may look like encouragment, correction, teaching, learning, or even evangelism. Bring the gospel to every circumstance - you'll either stregnthen a christian, or speak the only message that can save an unbeleiver. We're all heading for either the most exciting or most dreadfully horrible hours of our lives, depending on our relationship with Christ. Encourage others to sow to righteousness as much as possible before they arrive there, so they can face death with peace and confidence of hope beyond the grave.