A show of hands...

So, does anyone else out there struggle with wanting life to be different? Anyone? A show a hands please...yeah, just as I expected. We all do. I sure do. In fact, I'll raise both hands...and borrow my husband's on my behalf.

It seems like all the women in my life are getting what I want before I am. My list goes on and on, and they seem to be regularly checking off their desires while my list remains on the fridge, yellowing, with only 2 or 3 boxes checked and no new fulfillments on the approach.

I'm regularly tempted to bitterness and envy. And what's rediculous about it is that I get bitter and envious toward these other women. That really shows a misunderstanding on my part.

"At the end of the days I, Nebuchadnezzar, lifted my eyes to heaven, and my reason returned to me, and I blessed the Most High, and praised and honored him who lives forever, for his dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation; all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth;and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?"" --Daniel 4:34-35

These are the words of King Nebuchadnezzer of Babylon. He was maddened and restored to sanity by God, and this was his inspired cry after the ordeal. It tells me a few things about my circumstances.

First, that God is an undying, all powerful King. "His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom endures from generation to generation." Second, that I am not. "All the inhaitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and aong the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, "What have you done?""

God works his will among the inhabitants of the earth. Compared to God's power to accomplish his purpose, we are 'accounted as nothing'.

So when I look at these other women and have hostile feelings toward them, I'm misunderstanding God's soveriegnty. Do I really believe they have any more power to accomplish their purposes than I do? That's what I'm functionally saying with my sinful feelings toward them. And what does that say about my view of God in those moments? That he isn't sovereign over their lives. And by proxy, aren't I saying that God isn't sovereign over my life? And worse - that he isn't good?

Yep, that's the heart of it. "God, you aren't good." This is a pretty serious charge against a God who does nothing except for my good and withholds no good thing from me. Looks like I need to grab hold of some promises and readjust my thinking.

Here's the reality of what I'm wanting when I desire everything now: I'm wanting it outside God's timing. How dangerous. God's timing is perfect - why would I desire anthing less than perfection?

Here's what I should be thinking:

"Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies." --Psalm 25:8-10

God is Good. He works all things to his plan. He brings about all things in his perfect timing. Everything from his hand is good.

Something I always say to my friends is "Premature fruit is bitter - wait for it to ripen." Looks like I need to take that advice myself and wait patiently on the Lord.

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way..." --Psalm 37:4-7a

I should probably go back and read my field of flowers post too...and the one on the gospel.