Tires

I used to have a TV in my bedroom while I was in college. I loved the Discovery Health Channel. One night they were carrying a program discussing the differences in men and women. So they were interviewing men and women.

As was usually the case with me, when I had the TV on, I'm not really watching it. I had it on for noise (silence is way too loud). On this occasion, between research papers, I was absentmindedly clipping my toenails. They flew all over the carpet with every snip. My logic was "well, I'm gonna vaccuum anyway..."

The dialogue on the program went like this:

women: "Guys are never thoughtful when they buy a girl a present."
men: "Thoughtful? They want thoughtful? Chicks want impractical - that's what those women want. If I were to buy a girl new tires because her treads were completely gone, she'd sneer at it. If I brought her flowers (no matter how often I brougt flowers before), she'd swoon."

clip clip... "I'd want tires..." I thought to myself. clip clip clip...

men: "Women don't understand sports. They can't see how we're all happy to just sit around with a beer in hand and nachos on the table and watch a football game. There's no equivalent in the female world for Monday night football."
women: "What? Yes there is - shopping! But shopping yeilds something productive. You come home with things you need - you don't just spend hours sitting on a couch getting fatter and fatter."

clip... "I don't like shopping..." I thought to myself. clip clip...

woman: "Oh, and another thing, guys have such bad personal hygine! They can go a whole day without showering and not feel gross! And when they clip their toenails they just let them fly all over the place!"
men: "What? We're just gonna vaccuum."

I froze and rolled my eyes around, searching the room. "Alright, where's the darn camera?..." I thought.